Googly Eyes

Named after  what must have been the name that #1 Pete Wentz fans across the nation dubbed their first pop-Goth poem of hardship and brevity. Or maybe Ian Fleming just really liking the word “Quantum”. Uhhh…

Don’t get me wrong. I loved Casino Royale. The clumsiness and humanity of Bond’s revamped character was fresh and inviting. Almost as inviting as Daniel Craig’s (seriously) toned bod. But with Quantum of Solace, I found myself having to suspend my disbelief too often, thanks to its convoluted script and hard-to-belive turn of events. 

Yeah, I saw Renaissance just for the sound of his voice. SUE ME.

This is usually where the movie critic gives you a rundown of the plot, but honestly, who the fuck cares? It’s a James Bond movie. And yeah, it looked awesome. But there were never any truly insane action sequences, like the stunning 15-minute opener of its previous installment. (SPOILER!) Instead, we get a hugely explosive catastrophe from a corporation that just so happens to build their headquarters in a fuel cell bay. Right. Smart thinking, evil guys. Next time they’ll put HQ on a sinking ship. How convenient!

If anything, with Bond’s now-broken heart, we witness more and more of a disregard for human lives. In every pursuit, we see handfuls of innocent people killed, more blood spilled, and more classic 007 nonchalance as he accidentally slaughers civilians whether by car, high-speed boat chase, or plain insensitivity. What used to be a suave and vaguely concerned agent has now become a vengeful, clumsy, and stone-cold protagonist. Kind of like a captain’s widow with a license to kill. Sure, we empathize with the fact that his heart was broken. But did you really need to total three commuters on an Italian highway??

The real star of the film is, in my opinion, Judi Dench as “M”. Man, what a badass. Her cool, calm exterior is ace at showing flickers of uncertainty and compassion. Kind of like the Bonds of yore. Snap! I called that one, you smart, smart writers. 

Either way, I guess if you’re into big budget action movies with minimally relevant plots and a whole lot of Minority Report operating systems, go for it. There are definitely some flashy parts, and the editing of certain sequences is pretty breathtaking, but that’s about it. Keep the change for what is most definitely a Meh in my book. Save it for Rachel Getting Married. Which is another post entirely.