Googly Eyes

So I went to California for the first time in my pathetic life last week for a little vacation. I stayed with a friend in LA for 5 days, and here is what I learned about the great West Coast antithesis of New York.

1) Wow, Southern California has great weather and beautiful beaches.
2) I’m pretty sure the most offensive structure to ever emerge in the name of American consumer culture, or probably from America in general, is the strip mall. LA is festering with shitty, old, abandoned strip malls of which the mere site tickles my gag reflex.
3) Driving in traffic and on freeways isn’t great, but parking in LA definitely sucks. If I lived in LA, I imagine I’d become the kind of person who just never went anywhere because I’d have to answer the question, “What will I do with my car?” or because I’d just plain refuse to give up a good parking spot.
4) And one might respond to the previous complaint with, “Well, just walk, why don’t you!” You can’t walk anywhere because everything is spread far apart, and even if the distance is manageable on foot, chances are you’ll be walking next to wide, ugly roads that are dotted with the aforementioned strip malls/shopping carts in open, blinding sunlight. In other words, walking is not a pleasant alternative.
5) Fish tacos are fucking great.
6) The Hollywood Walk Of Fame is really stretching the definition of “fame”.
7) LA is full of people who are all trying (many unsuccessfully) to do the same exact thing. If you’re trying to make it in film or television, say goodbye to your individuality/identity.
8 ) Frozen bananas are real, and they are also fucking great.
9) Bars kick you out at 2am. WTF.
10) Based on my personal experience, people in LA are no better looking than people anywhere else in the country, and I didn’t come back with a low self-esteem complex. In fact, I’m pretty sure that NYC has all the best-looking people.

And that’s mostly it! Great place to visit when New York weather is getting you down, but I wouldn’t want to live there. So far, no city has been able to top my beloved NYC. Public transportation, drinking til 4am, and access to anything and everything you could ever want is hard to beat.